Is love selfish or is it selfish to love?

You know… we lose ourselves in so many things in this life. We get so wrapped up in our time and how to best utilize it. But if you were to think about what you lose yourself most in…that would be our loves wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t you agree that we spend most of our time reaching for the ability to live out our dreams?

Now our loves and dreams may be; our work, our hobbies, our pets or a special person- But regardless we spend so much time devoting ourselves to these loves … why is it that we find ourselves sometimes feeling guilty when we maybe want more for ourselves? Really…don’t we all just want to find ourselves…don’t we all just want to let our guards down and do what makes US happy? Not necessarily something or someone else happy? You will never know what you don’t know …meaning when you let those guards down it could be the best thing that ever happened to you, but you will never know if you keep them up. I learned that a couple years back.

I think there are a small number of truly, good-hearted people in this world--they always put others first. Now this is an amazing attribute to hold however; this good-heartedness comes with a hefty price. What if your love was making other individuals loves come true? What if your love wasn’t as significant to someone else as it was to you. For instance; we have people out there who are not capable of seeing their true abilities to grow. They are fine with settling and they are fine with mediocre ambitions. Well a person like myself is quite the opposite. I set larger than life goals for myself because I know one day I can attain it, because I am very driven. Because of who I am. Someone else may not think that for themselves, which is fine. Yet as a good-hearted person, wouldn’t you want to help motivate and push someone to reach their full capacity..? To reach their potential....just like you do for yourself? It’s human nature to want to do so. When I see someone who has so much talent, or intelligence, or spark and they do nothing with it…I question why? Why does that person not love to love? Why are they okay with settlement? Why do they not partake in activities to attain a richer life? My natural reaction would be to push that person until they saw for themselves their abilities, but another person would just give up. Is that selfish? I have thought about it for the past couple days…and to be honest I don’t think so… I think any ‘normal’ (what is normal anyway?--I hate using that word) rather a lot of people would choose themselves over another. They would choose to let go of helping one reach the ability to love something, in order to maybe spend that time reaching their owns loves. And you know what…I think that’s okay. If you see something in the world that would make your life potentially a better life…wouldn’t you want to reach out for it? Wouldn't YOU want to push YOURSELF , (just like you were trying to push that other person) to gravitate towards reaching another love for yourself as opposed to pushing someone who never really loved a love? Ideally isn’t that what you would be doing as the good-hearted individual? You would be pushing a person to reach for something they really never wanted, as if your love of helping someone actually conceptualized a love that was never there for that person? I don’t know that’s just my take on it. I think love should be patient, love should be kind but it should also be true. True love can be to yourself and not always towards someone else or something else.

Sometimes I pace back and forth in my own mind wondering what I would of done if I attacked certain loves instead of running from the fire they ignited in my direction? Where would I be now? Would I be more in love or less…? Would I be helping myself more or less…? Would I have been dis servicing someone else by taking my chances with a certain love? Now not to say I regret anything…because every single decision in this life has made me a much stronger person. Love is such a huge part of my life even if it is love of my career, self love, or a person…whatever it may be. If I didn’t know what love felt like you wouldn’t be reading these words right now. Love is really the best kind of inspiration to pull from. It has every emotion snuggled inside of it battling to come out. But you know what… I believe in more than one chance at A certain love. If you get what you need but not what you want, if you try your best but don’t succeed, when you feel in stuck in reverse, when you lose that something you just cant replace or you love someone and it goes to ultimate waste…do not give up. Do not subdue to the defeat but rather fight harder. If it is your love…(you career, a person, any venture) it is worth fight. It IS worth it. If you never try you will never know. Is it selfish to fight for something when it’s not yours? No. Life is a spiderweb of loves intertwined with one another to bring us to a blissful happiness. Loves are Loves whether they are yours or someone elses. Just be able to draw the line between what is truly your love and what someone elses is. You do not want to be stuck, twisting and turning on the spiderweb of life unable to move forward. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, regardless of the circumstances, in order to be happy ....and guess what? That is okay.

xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly