intelligence.

What is intelligence? When reading into that word what do think of? The dictionary states intelligence is the ability to learn, reason, and understand. But really is that all? Is that it? Does it mean rattling off countless facts that you have accumulated throughout your years, or maybe it means being able to think on your feet? I guess there are many ways to interpret the word intelligence but if you think about it... that is intelligence in itself, isn't it? Conceptualizing and forming an opinion of the true meaning of the word? When attempting to do this I found that the best way to define the word intelligence is to actually define the opposite. What is the adverse to intelligence? Stupid? Dumb? Apathetic? Well...honestly i think it is ignorance. Wouldn't the opposite of the ability and want to learn, reason, and understand be to not care to gain knowledge? Ignorance is the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, and information. Therefore; if someone is ignorant they can't be intelligent...right? When you have the competence to constantly push yourself to learn new things, and accumulate more knowledge you become intelligent. When you remain naive, prideful, and apathetic and stay at a certain level of knowledge without the drive for the improvement of the mind... that is when you become ignorant. Intelligence is all about the grind and continuous determination. It is about taking an initiative to adapt to our rapidly changing society. It is all about growth. Also wouldn't you agree that there are different levels and kinds of intelligence? A social intelligence, artistic intelligence, and that of a factual intelligence? Some individuals are driven socially as opposed to intrinsically. Those that are intrinsic want to solely better themselves, those that are artistic thrive in learning more about the creative intelligence, and then there are those whom are more dependent on the ability to be social.

Intelligence is a word of many meanings. It is much more complex than knowing your ABC's and 123's. Yet the most significant part of the word intelligence is ability. We all have the ability to get to a certain level of intelligence. With some it comes easy, and with others it is developed over a sum of time. Possessing the passion to continue to challenge yourself to grow you increase your level and progress as a person; socially, artistically, factually, and overall. Our brains are like instruments. They have to be tuned from time to time and in that process taken care of. Once we learn how to do so we can grow as individuals and develop into more well rounded beings.

Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly

nightly gratitudes.

i'm grateful for truth.
i'm grateful for 'if i could then i would'.
i'm grateful for the melody of music.
i'm grateful for knowing what i am worth.
i'm grateful for my abilities to utilize words the way i do.
i'm grateful for the happiness i get whenever he texts.
i'm grateful for coldplay.
i'm grateful for fear being the heart of love.
i'm grateful for weekly lunch dates with my best friend.
i'm grateful for finally being okay with being vulnerable.
+ i'm grateful for hardwork turning into success.

Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly

Is love selfish or is it selfish to love?

You know… we lose ourselves in so many things in this life. We get so wrapped up in our time and how to best utilize it. But if you were to think about what you lose yourself most in…that would be our loves wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t you agree that we spend most of our time reaching for the ability to live out our dreams?

Now our loves and dreams may be; our work, our hobbies, our pets or a special person- But regardless we spend so much time devoting ourselves to these loves … why is it that we find ourselves sometimes feeling guilty when we maybe want more for ourselves? Really…don’t we all just want to find ourselves…don’t we all just want to let our guards down and do what makes US happy? Not necessarily something or someone else happy? You will never know what you don’t know …meaning when you let those guards down it could be the best thing that ever happened to you, but you will never know if you keep them up. I learned that a couple years back.

I think there are a small number of truly, good-hearted people in this world--they always put others first. Now this is an amazing attribute to hold however; this good-heartedness comes with a hefty price. What if your love was making other individuals loves come true? What if your love wasn’t as significant to someone else as it was to you. For instance; we have people out there who are not capable of seeing their true abilities to grow. They are fine with settling and they are fine with mediocre ambitions. Well a person like myself is quite the opposite. I set larger than life goals for myself because I know one day I can attain it, because I am very driven. Because of who I am. Someone else may not think that for themselves, which is fine. Yet as a good-hearted person, wouldn’t you want to help motivate and push someone to reach their full capacity..? To reach their potential....just like you do for yourself? It’s human nature to want to do so. When I see someone who has so much talent, or intelligence, or spark and they do nothing with it…I question why? Why does that person not love to love? Why are they okay with settlement? Why do they not partake in activities to attain a richer life? My natural reaction would be to push that person until they saw for themselves their abilities, but another person would just give up. Is that selfish? I have thought about it for the past couple days…and to be honest I don’t think so… I think any ‘normal’ (what is normal anyway?--I hate using that word) rather a lot of people would choose themselves over another. They would choose to let go of helping one reach the ability to love something, in order to maybe spend that time reaching their owns loves. And you know what…I think that’s okay. If you see something in the world that would make your life potentially a better life…wouldn’t you want to reach out for it? Wouldn't YOU want to push YOURSELF , (just like you were trying to push that other person) to gravitate towards reaching another love for yourself as opposed to pushing someone who never really loved a love? Ideally isn’t that what you would be doing as the good-hearted individual? You would be pushing a person to reach for something they really never wanted, as if your love of helping someone actually conceptualized a love that was never there for that person? I don’t know that’s just my take on it. I think love should be patient, love should be kind but it should also be true. True love can be to yourself and not always towards someone else or something else.

Sometimes I pace back and forth in my own mind wondering what I would of done if I attacked certain loves instead of running from the fire they ignited in my direction? Where would I be now? Would I be more in love or less…? Would I be helping myself more or less…? Would I have been dis servicing someone else by taking my chances with a certain love? Now not to say I regret anything…because every single decision in this life has made me a much stronger person. Love is such a huge part of my life even if it is love of my career, self love, or a person…whatever it may be. If I didn’t know what love felt like you wouldn’t be reading these words right now. Love is really the best kind of inspiration to pull from. It has every emotion snuggled inside of it battling to come out. But you know what… I believe in more than one chance at A certain love. If you get what you need but not what you want, if you try your best but don’t succeed, when you feel in stuck in reverse, when you lose that something you just cant replace or you love someone and it goes to ultimate waste…do not give up. Do not subdue to the defeat but rather fight harder. If it is your love…(you career, a person, any venture) it is worth fight. It IS worth it. If you never try you will never know. Is it selfish to fight for something when it’s not yours? No. Life is a spiderweb of loves intertwined with one another to bring us to a blissful happiness. Loves are Loves whether they are yours or someone elses. Just be able to draw the line between what is truly your love and what someone elses is. You do not want to be stuck, twisting and turning on the spiderweb of life unable to move forward. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, regardless of the circumstances, in order to be happy ....and guess what? That is okay.

xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

nightly gratitudes.

So tonight is going to be a little different then most. Tonight I am going to talk about only one thing I would like to dedicate my gratitude to.

'Season Premiere video is amazing! Great stuff, would like to see more of this band'
'The Season Premiere's music video was PHENOMENAL!!'
'I love love The Season Premiere's music video! It's more than pretty amazing and the ending is golden. :) Not to mention, now I can't get Anything But Love out of my head...:)'
'The song Anything But Love by the Season Premiere was awesome! I can't stop listening to it!'
'The featured video by the season premiere, is awesome. catchy song, great lyrics, and incredible video - extremely talented guys and stoked to hear more!'
'Ni**a I aint made of money but The Season Premiere's new video is gold.'
'Just saw The Season Premiere's new Anything But Love video and I am in love...amazing video!!!'
'Great job with the music vid, Crystal Kimberly!!! I was so impressed--great job putting this all together, and I wish you tons of success!!'
'Um, Loved the video. :) The videography was awesome--angles, light, everything. And the music is awesome. :)'

Above is a very small taste of some of my favorite comments left on the Glamour Kills Facebook Wall since yesterday when we released the video for 'Anything But Love'. Never did I think a year ago when Justin and I were talking across the country to each other (he in Tempe, AZ and myself in Albany, NY) that this would be happening. That this much positive feedback would be coming our way. Hell never did I think I would get a three person crew together to drive across the country with a couple hundred bucks in our pockets that we raised through Kickstarter. The boys of The Season Premiere have really changed my life...all corniness aside. I am not just referring to the video and the career opportunities...but I'm more so referring to how real, talented, down to earth, passionate, unique, and insane these boys are. Their music brings such a catchy, uplifting, 90s throwback feel that I think maybe the music realm has lost touch of. Their music isn't just about the cliches but the true and bare emotions that they personally have endured in their lives. Isn't that what music is supposed to be about? I know it used to be.

Less than a month ago I was sitting in Justin's car with Jami(part of my lovely crew), Travis, and Terrence listening to the full EP (to be released on the 23rd of August) called 'For All the Lovers' for the first time. And I remember to this moment how lost,in the most amazing way possible, that I got in the music. Maybe that's because I knew where a lot of the stories told in the melodies came from, but maybe it was also because of the sound they offer through each note Justin sings, to the smoothness of Travis's back up vocals and raw guitar talent, to Riley's insane ability to pound his heart into every beat of the drum, and Terrence's love to strum the bass. Yes 'Anything But Love' is a catchy-radio friendly-fun song, but the rest of the EP?! Pheww you better watch out.

I am so grateful for not only meeting these boys but for the opportunity of working with them and helping them live their dreams. The smile across their faces when they pick up their instruments and see a crowd in front of them is just unbelievable. If you doubt The Season Premiere at all as a band go to The Glamour Kills Facebook page and that doubt will surely disappear. I myself know from working at Glamour Kills that they seldomly get a response like that to many bands. The fact that so many people responded in less than 20 hours- over 1300 views on youtube, traffic like crazy on the Glamour Kills Blog, over 175 facebook comments, and tweets up the Wazzoo--is nuts. Quotes right from some of my good friends at Glamour Kills were 'We were so impressed.' 'What the hell did you do right for this to happen?!' Everyone keep in mind The Season Premiere is an unsigned band and I think they have proved it is possible to get somewhere in this music business even if unsigned. Mike Gentile from Hey Monday, Mark from Glamour Kills, Brian the lead singer of The Summer Set, Craig Owens of Drugs, The Gunz Show, and The Downtown Fiction are just SOME of the people already in the business who believed in The Season Premiere enough to spread the love.... That's not even including the hundreds of fans, family members, and friends who took the time to listen, enjoy and spread our hard work. Now it's your turn....what do you think? Check out our video at www.glamourkills.com/blog and you will be just as amazed.

I think we were all very lucky to meet one another and I know we all appreciate one another more and more everyday. ( Love you boys-Justin, Travis, Terrence, Riley and Matt & to my crew all the love in the world- Jami, Alex ,Dan & Joe)

I am grateful for yesterday. I am grateful for today. I am grateful for tomorrow. I am grateful for them. and I am grateful for us.

xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

nightly gratitudes.

i'm grateful for a delightful today + a better tomorrow.
i'm grateful for alone time to reflect.
i'm grateful for the ability to express my deepest darkest feelings to strangers.
i'm grateful for sincerity.
i'm grateful for feelings of doubt + then having the ability to trust my gut.
i'm grateful for meeting the boys of The Season Premiere.
i'm grateful for one of the hardest but best years of my 23.
i'm grateful for a working heart.
i'm grateful for a beautiful, loving, fantabulous family.
i'm grateful for randomness.
+ i'm grateful for crazy. stupid. love.

Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly

crazy. stupid. love.

Awhile back i wrote a blog that contemplated the rules that govern love. Well through all deliberated viewpoints i say 'screw the rules.' In the time it takes you to learn those rules you have potentially missed out on all the raw emotions and moments. I mean really...what happened to romance? What happened to secret notes being passed + car doors being opened + lame pick up lines + slow dances in the rain in the middle of the street + her favorite flowers + cliches + raw first dates + hopeful forevers + awkward silences + spelling your feelings in candles + picnics on the beach + so on so forth. i mean when someone says 'ohh those things only happen in movies.' Well yea sure... hell why do you think that is? It's because we are all busy saying that + not doing it. romance is not about being lazy and unthoughtful...it's about the significance of your conversations with someone + knowing what makes them smile...knowing what makes them tick...the significance of GETTING to know all of that about a person. i mean the trip to loving someone is almost equal to when you first realize you DO love them. Effort is the first way to a persons heart, girl or guy. it may be crazy to love someone, it may be stupid to fight for them, but when you find your soul mate their love is worth the fight, the will to never give up. Through all hard, through all good, through all. just a thought i had tonight. a thought we should all think about from time to time.

Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly

nightly gratitude.

i'm grateful for my ability to forgive myself + others.
i'm grateful for music defining life.
i'm grateful for memories of always and forever.
i'm grateful for a strong heart.
i'm grateful for the support of my family + friends.
i'm grateful for my drive to work hard.
i'm grateful for my brothers.
i'm grateful for both sides of the story.
i'm grateful for my chances to travel thus far.
i'm grateful for my education.
i'm grateful for my faith in 11:11.
+ i'm grateful for my internal maps of where i've been + where i want to go.

xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

nightly gratitude.

i'm grateful for my family.
i'm grateful for the laughter my life encompasses.
i'm grateful for a job that pays my bills.
i'm grateful for my strength.
i'm grateful for fate + hope.
i'm grateful for a past masked as tragedy that has morphed + has smacked me in the face with reality.
i'm grateful for my passion in life.
i'm grateful for the look in the eyes of those who love me for who i am.
i'm grateful for a healthy body.
i'm grateful for the few that'll always be there for me when i look over my shoulder.
i'm grateful for you.

xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

victory belongs to the most persistent.

bucket list. august of 2011-january of 2012. no particular order.

1. go to california.
2. finish a full chapter in my book.
3. pay off my credit card bill.
4. to focus on me. to spend time on me + so things happen for me.
5. to find my first tour manager job.
6. meet Christina Perri + see her in concert.
7. get a tattoo.
8. buy myself something expensive.
9. sing in front of a crowd.
10. weed out the bad seeds in my life + cherish the good ones.
11. start writing nightly gratitude lists.
12. do the insanity workout in full + lose fifteen lbs.
13. stop drinking coca cola on a daily basis.
14. cleanse my room of chaos.
15. help a stranger take a step in the right direction.
16. if I have a chance to make it—I’ll take it.
17. learn to play my ukulele (beyond a couple songs).
18. develop a concept for my non-profit organization.
19. spend more time with family.
20. find a peaceful love in my self + in another.

twenty things to come true in six months. what does your checklist look like?


xoxo

Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

no longer fixed at zero.

man oh man. hey World! If you haven't noticed--lately writing in this beloved blog of mine has come far and in between with the life i have developed this past year. between the most draining full time job to hours upon hours of passion filled freelance work to finding a second job i have little time to pour my soul to all those who care to read. neglecting this blog-i realized-isn't just hurting those who enjoy the read but myself. i have realized that although very public, this typed diary helps me cleanse. it helps me rid my days of negativity and inhale a positive aora. we all know the positive is necessary to survive in this life we live. the negative i have undoubtedly been rained on by was like a vulcher on my shoulder telling my to give in. to give into the comfort of settling. to give into the unhappy endeavors i was partaking in. to give into the laziness. to give into my biggest fear-failure. never did I think that after 23 years of life i would still be in this small town with barely anything checked off my list. so what you ask is my determination to all of a sudden get out of this quicksand that I unfortunately have been slowly sinking in for a year? well i intend to share with you a bucket list of the things i have already checked off my list but also the things i want to and will complete in the next six months. now six months may seem like a long time..but really is it? what were you doing six months ago? that was back in March. ! . yea people it is already August! we have to get on our goals. whether i am sleeping 8 hrs or 2 hrs a night i will do the things on my list because i know these are the things that make me incredibly happy. they make me who i am. i went from being an incrediblly driven individual to that person who gets caught up in comfort, bills, and busy life. i lost track of me. crystal kimberly. time to change that. no longer will i be fixed at zero but rather i will be reaching for dreams, goals, love, freedom from disappointment and negativity. i will surround myself with only positive passion and fulfillment. and i hope you do the same. my next blog will be the bucket list i intend to complete in the next six months. stay tuned.

much love
xoxo
Perfectly Imperfect
Crystal Kimberly

p dot s

this is time to become a new vintage me.(i know it sounds like a oxymoron/juxtaposition--but it is what i intend to be...a newer version of the old me)

i love you all.