Part of That World.

So as I sit here on Monday night, technically Tuesday morning, all I can think about is the future. What is it that it has in it's hands for me. What presents does it have for me to unwrap, and ultimately what dreams will it make available for me to live. I am at a point in my life where I am very happy with myself. I love my family, my friends, and all those surrounding me. However; I am ready to start doing things for me. I have always been the person to put everyone before myself, and I will continue to do so. But I have to start living MY life. I need to stop worrying about if I am making everyone else proud, and I need to ultimately make myself proud. There is so much I want to do in life. More than I could ever put into words. Are all those things realistic? Possibly yes, possibly no. Yet there is a life in my heart that is calling my name and has been calling my name for years. I am ready to take it off the back burner. I am ready to venture into what will make me happy. I am ready to rise to the challenges, get my feet wet, and jump out of my comfort zone. Those who know me know I am a very determined and driven individual. Once my mind is set on something I will work undoubtedly harder that I have ever before to attain that goal.
Today I sat down with a good friend. A friend who has been there for me through a lot. We discussed how much has happened in both of our lives in just the last couple of months. And it may not be significant to some people, but It has been to us. We have met some amazing people, done some incredible things, and dreamt countless nights of what could possibly come from our goals in life. Not many people my age KNOW what they want out of life. Not many people know what they want to do for the rest of their life. I do. I know the exact moments that will send chills up my spine to leave me utterly speechless. I know that when I close my eyes and see my dreams in my mind, i know that it won't be a dream much longer. However; it will become a reality. I have always been pushed to reach beyond the ceiling. I've been taught that I have no limit as a person. As my life has progressed, the ages rolling on by, I have learned so much. I have grown into the person I am today. Soon, as in eleven days, I will be turning 21. Yes the big TWENTY - ONE. Well who would of thought that by the age of twenty-one I would have this mind-set.
I went from being in love to heartbreak to being in love again to heartbreak to once again being in love. But this time. I am not in love with a significant other. However; I am in love with my life. I am in love with my dreams and the potential of my future. When my heart was first broken, I thought it couldn't be healed. That it was in a forever state of pieces. At that point in my life I was vulnerable, I was young, I was naive, insecure, and ultimately I was in love for the first time. Then I fell again, unfortunently time was of essence and a key factor in the heartbreak to come. I have no regrets in my life. Moreover; I have lessons learned which have brought me to where I am today. After the heartbreak I thought I had to be with someone to be happy. I had been "that" girl who had consistently always been in a relationship. It was where I was most comfortable, least vulnerable, and most used to. Yet, recently I have learned that I have grown into such a strong person. And I can actually step up and admit that now. Rather than fretting on the past, we must indulge in the present and dream for the future. Lets remmember though. The past is significant in that it has helped you grow as an individual, and has inevitabley made you who you are today. But we shouldn't think about what if's and why's? We need to say to ourselves that is the past, there is nothing that can be done to change it. The present and future are what you can change. You can be who you want to be, go where you want to go, and live the way you want to live.
Me, well I am a small town girl awaiting my break into the bigger picture. Yes, this small town is good to come home too, but I know it's almost time for me to leave. My memories are here, but my future is not. I need to venture into a new world with new opportunities. I am looking forward to meeting new people, endeavoring into new adventures, and forever living the dream I write about everyday. Maybe one day I will tell you all the list of things I would like to venture into. But for now...I will leave it at this.

Always fight for what you want and never settle. Never let anyone tell you that you can not do something, and if they do use that energy to achieve your goals that much more. Prove them wrong. Do what makes YOU happy, and be true to yourself. The question I always ask my self, is what you see in the mirror who you want to be? And if it isn't do something about it. And I am not referring to looks. I am referring to what you see in your eyes, the person who lies beneath them. Who is that person, and what do THEY want? Ultimately it is your life, noone elses. It is your playground, so play:) Go to distance, dream big, and question the world to get answers. It is like Ariel in the Little Mermaid said, "Ready to know what the people know, Ask 'em my questions and get some answers. What's a fire and why does it - what's the word? Burn? When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above? Out of the sea. Wish I could be Part of that world."

Much love,

Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly