So...it has been months upon months since I have even attempted writing a heart filled blog. These past couple months have been filled with changes...changes I would of never imagined. Changes that have consumed me not only physically but emotionally, mentally, and both externally and internally. Changes in my career. Changes in my personal life. Changes in my wants. Changes in my needs. And most importantly changes in me as an overall person. I've dealt with success and failure at the same time. I have felt pain smack me across the face as happiness made my heart beat to shy away the pain. I've traveled and not traveled enough. I've loved and not given love enough. I've cried and laughed. I've helped and been helped. I've dreamt and dreamt bigger. I have checked some things off my list and added ten more to fill it's place. I have watched those who deserve to be watched and hid from those moments that need darkness. I've been between moments of black and white only to fall into the shades of gray. I've reminisced of the past and lost myself in the potential of a future. I've thought of the present and ran away of change needed to get to that future. Yet even when trying to avoid change here I am...changed.
I have had much time to think about life-as i always do regardless of any time restraint, but I recently came to the realization that I am a person of question marks. There is always more that I want. And yes this want factor makes me a very driven person but there is never an answer to all the questions of Crystal Kimberly. I guess that is what makes life ...life though. Aren't we all searching for an answer? Aren't we all living life to strive for more and in the process grow? Whether you are in repair from a loveless bruise or running around with the heart of life you will always question and search for an answer. That i think is what makes me lifestrong.
You have to have a good head on your shoulders in order to prosper in life. I've had both detrimental and amazing times in a matter of months. I've road tripped across the country and shot a music video while meeting amazing, incredible people, but I have also lost some significant people and moments in my life. It's a give and take world and I have just learned what taking means. You can't go through life being 100% giving. I have tried that and it was great but it also always left me with a mere empty feeling inside at times. I could never figure out why I wasn't one hundred percent happy when I had such a great life to be thankful for. Well traveling across the country, taking an idea I had and transforming it into a tangible, full scale production made me realize why I had that once empty feeling. You ALWAYS have to take time for yourself and do something YOU want/need to do regardless of what other people think. Who cares if someone doesn't think it's possible. Who cares if there are those who deny you'll reach success or those who refuse to admit you are right in doing what makes you happy. It is your life and you have to be lifestrong in order to make the best and most out of it. It's your path to paint, it's your path to follow, and it's your path to conquer. Don't let bumps in the roads or negative situations ruin your ability to conquer your painted path. Give while you take and take while you give for that mindset will get you where you want to be, and those who love you will be right by your side helping you paint a longer and greater path to conquer on your way.
Perfectly Imperfect
xoxo
Crystal Kimberly
i love you all. thanks for reading. and watch out for many more words in the next few weeks. i'm back:).
